Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
