Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
pop tarts are not kleenex
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize