youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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