Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize