I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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