i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
