batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
