Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
