Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude i'm inner monologue high
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
