Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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