I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
