i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
