My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
