I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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