Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
