hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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