so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
