her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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