Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
