dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
