i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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