Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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