WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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