you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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