What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
