All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
