What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
