a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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