So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My vagina is very pro this idea
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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