What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
