glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
