trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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