i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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