I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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