at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
