Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My ass is underappreciated
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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