awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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