I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
