we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
