Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
