All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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