Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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