what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
