just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
