everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
