this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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