He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
