New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
