I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
