was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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