I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize