This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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