Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
