Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i dont even know how to be here
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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