Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
