hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
