You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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