what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
