i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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