Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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