I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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