The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
